Have you been to Target with your kids this summer? If so, did you noticed all the meltdowns in the toy aisle? All the kids running around the women’s clothing aisles and home decor telling their mom to hurry up. I want to go to the toy aisle! You said 5 more minutes 10 minutes ago! You said you would just look at one more thing! You said we only needed toilet paper! Mom, I’m tired! Mom, I’m hungry! Mom, I want a candy bar! Mom, he’s touching me! Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!!!
Target used to be a mothers playground, but summer is here. Which means it is now kids territory. The tantrums, the destroyed displays. It’s like a war zone here. Kids everywhere. Parents looking like they are going to break at any moment. Mom’s carts once full of precious accessories and outfits are now full of children, children’s toys and snacks.
Okay, so I am embellishing a little. However, when I took my daughter to Target today I saw a few reminders that summer is not always fun in the sun and happy family memories.
So what happened at Target today?
So glad you asked. Have you ever planned an outing with your kid and thought, it is going to be so fun and it ended up not going as planned at all? Today at Target went a lot like that. I wanted to have girl time with her. Take her to Target to get an outfit or a toy since the boys are all gone.
Well, it quickly turned into a standoff. She insisted on going to the toy aisle. I have no problem with that. In fact, we discussed the game plan before we entered the store. We would hit up clothing, acessories, beauty aisle, then toys. In my head, I thought we were on the same page. I was very wrong.
A side rant:
I despise the toy aisle. All the brightly plastic wrapped little trip hazards. The dolls with creepy faces. The pointless squishies, minifigured everything, Dolls with makeup and outfits that would put any hooker to shame. I mean really. Who the hell designes these dolls and their outfits? No wonder 10-year-olds look like they are in their mid 20’s. But, that is a different post for a different rant.
The Epic Standoff:
I wish it had to do with a toy, but really we are at that point in our mother daughter relatiohsip where everything I say is an insult and I always hurt her feelings. She is extrememly intune with her feelings and can communicate them cleraly. It’s a gift and a curse really.
The incident started when I very logically explained to her she has dozens of toys she does not play with. If she wants more, then she will have to get rid of some. Very logical, right? WRONG!!! She started to get huffy puffy about how she plays with all her toys. Which somehow led to her being upset about a toy I gave away that she did not play with. Now, I needed to right that wrong and buy her a replacement. She was not demanding about it, she was trying to clearly make a point and I was trying to clearly make mine.
Now came the standoff.
She went into great detail about how upset it made her to lose that toy. Which snowballed into how she cannot find another toy. Then came the tears and the glares. Me being me, aka heartless logical mother, did not help the situation by telling her she was acting like an entitled brat. SHIT HIT THE FAN. She bursted into tears. Then, proceded to tell me how calling her names, entitled brat, “hurt her deeply”. The more I explained her actions were those of an entitled child, the more” it cut her deeper”. Her words, not mine.
So you see, she has no issues explaining her feelings. She is more than happy to point out that I have “hurt her deeply with my words”. I am proud of her for this, but in the moment I really wanted to tell her to suck it up and stop making a scene.
How it ended:
This all ended up in a staring contest infront of the girls toy aisle. For a moment I was worried about making a scene, but I was not about to let her get away with acting entitled or speak to me in a disrespectful tone. I let her know that I was not calling her an entitled brat to hurt her feelings, but to make her aware of her actions. She cried, I was upset, but we ended up having a calm deep converstaion about how we choose to act and react. I apologized for calling her a brat. She apologized for acting like one. She did not get any toy and we left with what we planned on getting. Which is a miracle.
I am still learning how to parent my kids. It changes everyday. Both my kids are sensative, which is a challenge for me because I am not. I am much more analitical, so her ability to communicate her feelings has saved us from some huge fights.
If I can give anyone parenting tips, it would be this.
Teach your children how to verbally communicate their feelings. Not in a passive agressive way, but a direct way. You make me feel like this beacuse… My husband and I use this as well in marriage and in parenting. We also apologize to our kids when we make mistakes or do things that hurt their feelings. We ask for forgiveness as do they. We are absolutly not perfect at it. Today was a reflection of what is to come with her and I. But, we try to handle issuies properly now, so when bigger conversations happen and hormones are involved we have a strong foundation.